tiny’s wedding silver

11Feb08

Many years ago, several pieces of my grandmother’s wedding silver were stolen from her home. Afterwards, she hid what remained in drawers, beneath cabinets, in closets.

In the months leading up to my wedding, my parents searched for weeks to complete the set. A few months before my wedding, my mother showed me the set- complete with the help of e-bay. I imagined my grandmother choosing the pattern (Kirk Rose) in 1938 and later, setting tables for supper clubs or holiday meals. I didn’t expect to feel this way about a set of utensils, but this is my most cherished wedding gift.

Maybe it’s the physical resemblance, or the interest in art and poetry, or her knack for storytelling, or that she understood me in a way that most of my family didn’t – I’m not sure. But I always felt deeply connected to my grandmother. She has suffered from Alzheimer’s for more than a decade, now, and she lost the ability to communicate a few years ago. When I visit, I think there is a hint of recognition. She sees something familiar in me -she sometimes feels the outline of my face or stares intently into my eyes. And then, as quickly as she re-entered reality, she leaves it. She looks away and her gaze is empty again. It’s been this way for several years -looking for signs that the woman she used to be is still there. Sometimes it seems that something within the inner recesses of her mind is suddenly awoken, and we think she remembers… But these experiences have become increasingly less frequent over the years.

Occasionally, I’ll thumb through one of her old books and find pressed magnolia leaves- decades old. And I’m reminded of her.

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